We Are Married!

It's been a long time since this blog was updated.
From where we left off, everything went well and smooth.



Our big day, 7th of June 2008.


Solemnisation was held in Marine Parade and we had to make our way to church
for the ceremony.

We made the invitation cards, order of service, wedding arc, pew decorations,
gifts box and corsages all by ourselves!
Tell you, the 2 months we spent doing all these things were the most tiring
and yet fulfilling at the same time. We had arguments, unhappiness along the
way but we understood that conflicts are necessary and mustn't take it personally.
All is for the greater good. :D

Although it was raining that afternoon, we were glad that the turnout was very good.
And that our beloved guests enjoyed the video montage we did (oh yeah, we did the
montage by ourselves), the church decorations and the food (which we didn't get to
eat at all until my aunts packed some home)!

We want to thank all who took their time and effort to help make this day a memorable
day for us.
Pastor Kang, Pastor Yong, Shiya, Janice, Susan, Eileen, Sujuan, Dora, Jason, Esther Tioh,
Esther Seah, Amy, Elizabeth, Yong Wee, Hwee Leng, Sim Wee, Val, Wendy, Patricia, Liling,
Ying, Jackie, Kok Shung, Chee Wee, Ju Guang and Chir Leng.

Special thanks to my mum, for brewing herbal tea for us when we were rushing with
the decorations, for helping us with purchases, for her excellent meals which replenished
us each and every day. And my dad for making the wedding arc structure from scratch,
and for helping us with transportation.

Also to Shah from Mum's Kitchen for his support and excellent service.
Also to Aidan, for his photography services.

Most importantly, we thank God for bringing us together and for blessing us with
all the people whom loved us so dearly.

Updates on the Big Day

A few updates:

1) Measurement taken
Finally we're "called up" for taking our measurements for gown and suit,
as well as choosing Fang's gowns for photoshoots.
Measurement for her was taken by the bridal shop's staff and mine was
by a contract tailor. I chose to make 2 suits including one with mandarin
collar, costing a total of RM1200 for keep. (RM 600 for keep and RM500 for
rent, might as well spend another RM200 more since it's tailor made, can
be worn for other occasions)

It's tough for Fang to choose her gowns though, because of the shop's limited
selection. Can barely make it to select the number of gowns in the package.
She looked beautiful in the gowns, can't wait for the day to come! :)

After all the selection and measurement, which is about 4 hours, we went
to Nandos at Pelangi Plaza for chicken!! The best roast chicken I tasted in
my life...coupled with the super sizzling chilli sauce...What can I say?

2) Confirmation of Church Venue
It is confirmed! We will be having our wedding at Choa Chu Kang Bible Centre,
which is where Hebron Presbyterian Church is. The date is booked and all
we need to do is to pay the deposit on Saturday.

Just today, Fang received a call from another church that the date we reserved
with them is NOT available! Thank God that we did not wait for them to
confirm with us, if not we will really be in trouble.

Total expenditure so far:
RM5499 (photoshoot package)
S$450 (actual day photographer)
~S$900 (church rental)

Another Step in Our Wedding

We went to JB to hunt for bridal shops last saturday.
Fang's ex-classmates introduced a few shops near Pelangi Plaza.
So the first stop we go was Dreams.
The shop is just opposite Pelangi Plaza.
You won't miss it if you take a bus from City Square,
sitting on the left side, you can easily spot their signboard
after around 7 minutes of bus ride.

The actual shop is on the second floor,
directly above a hair salon.
A huge poster immediately caught our attention,
it's one of mediacorp's artiste!
We were very impressed with the photos they displayed
all over the shop and it's the kind of style we were looking for,
natural and "go-with-the-feeling" type.

The photographer: Joyce Wong.
Person attending to us: Kai Ling.
Attitude: friendly, un-pushy, patient.

We were shown a few packages ranging from RM19XX to RM6XXX.
We picked the RM4299 package,
which includes:
One session of Studio and JB outdoor shooting (3 places)
15 x 24R digital album 12 pages (max 40 poses)
6R mag album-1 set
24x36R enlargement print with frame
8R special 2D acalic frame
10R special 2D acalic frame
10x20R (3 in 1) long artcard acalic frame
CD of the pictures we choose (FOC)
Wedding homepage (FOC)
15x30R signature poster (FOC)

For photography session:
the bride has: 3 whitegown, 2 evening gown, 1 kua and 1 casual wear (own)
groom has: 3 man's jacket ( - -)

For actual day:
1 MTM wedding gown (for rent)
1 eve gown
1 MTM tea dress (for rent)
1 Man jacket
1 Fresh rose hand-bouquet
1 set Bridal car decor + 4 sets following cars ribbons.

We wanted to look around for more packages but we felt that
the photographer is who we are looking for,
plus the price is reasonable too.
The only thing we're not very satisfied is the selection of gowns,
there are too few to choose from!
So we were considering whether to rent a few pieces from other
bridal shops.
The other thing is that they will not give discount from the package
prices but they are willing to throw in more offers and tailor
them according to our needs.

All in all,
we are looking forward to our photo shoots!
We really thank God that we are able to find a satisfactory shop
at first try.
Praying hard that we are able to rent Trueway Presbyterian Church
for our wedding. :)
At least one item on our list is done.
Hooray!

Keys to a Successful Marriage Part 5

Key 5:
LISTEN TO ONE ANOTHER

I say again,
listen to ONE ANOTHER.
What that means is:
both husband and wife must be able to discuss problems
and listen to what each other has to say.

One of the most common reasons when problems arise is:
communication breakdown.
It is most detrimental to a marriage when one of the partner
refuses to discuss issues openly.
Communications have to be 2-way.
It does not help for just one partner to pour out everything
and the other simply "hearing" it.
We need to practise "active listening".
What do I mean by that?
Now, when your partner talks to you,
you must not only listen,
you must also SHOW her/him that you are listening.
How do you do that?
There are a few ways to that,
one of the simplest way is to paraphrase what your partner says.
By doing that,
you show her/him that not only you're listening,
you UNDERSTAND what she/he is talking about.
Above that, you show interest to know more.
Of course, at this point,
the one talking will have to allow some time for the other person
to absorb and digest.

Problems in a marriage need to be resolved by
both husband and wife,
for the fact that marriage is between 2 individuals.
It takes 2 hands to clap and it definitely need 2 hands to make it work.
Work it out together if you can,
but don't hesitate to get outside help.
Remember when you give your vows to one another,
you vowed to go through thick and thin, weal or woe,together.
Make every, I mean EVERY single effort to make it work!

Are You Ready to Get Married?

Ask yourself these 4 questions.

1) Can you see yourself committed in your future spouse?
To nurture, help and develope him/her to his/her maximum potential?

2) Can you see your future spouse committing to
nurture, help and develop yourself to your maximum potential?

3) Can you see yourself spending the REST OF YOUR LIFE
with your future spouse, no matter what happens?

and finally,
4) Can you see your spouse spending the REST OF HIS/HER LIFE
with you, no matter what happens?

If you have answer "yes" to all 4 questions,
you can be quite sure that you are ready to get married. :)

Keys to a Successful Marriage Part 4

Key 4:
DON'T WITHHOLD LOVE AND AFFECTION

1 Corinthians 7:3-5 has this to say:

"The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife,
and likewise the wife to her husband.
The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband.
In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone
but also to his wife.
Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time,
so that you may devote yourselves to prayer.
Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you
because of your lack of self-control."

This is how husbands and wives should treat their bodies.
After marriage, our bodies belong to each other,
not only we should not withhold love and affection,
we should also treat our spouse's body like our own,
taking care and loving it like that way we love our own bodies.

However, we must not use this as a weapon to get our own way.
That means, we are not to abuse each other, physically or mentally
just because the bible says "The wife's body does not belong to her alone
but also to her husband."
When 2 persons get married,
they are united as one body,
you wouldn't hurt or harm your own body right?
Therefore, treat each other as how you wanted to be treated,
and nurture and grow together in body, mind and spirit.

Keys to a Successful Marriage Part 3

Key 3:
REMAIN SEXUALLY PURE UNTIL MARRIAGE

This is an admonition for young people.
It is difficult but not impossible.
Young people who are taking a stand against pre-marital sex
are to be applauded.
Think of it this way,
pre-marital sex IS sex outside marriage, right?
Even though you are "certain" that he/she is going to be the one
you're going to marry,
as long as you are not officially announced husband and wife,
pre-marital sex=sex outside marriage.
It would mean agreeing to your spouse having extra-marital sex.

Marriages will have greater chance of success if both remain
sexually pure before marriage.